need opinions on my craigslist ad please

[a1maniac]

I am trying to start my own auto repair shop and i am trying to start out really small most of my friends use me to fix there cars but lately I have been fixing there cars for free because they are all poor. so I went on craigslist to try to drum up business. tell me what you guys think of my add. http://minneapolis.craigslist.org/aos/1002694926.html

[Topher]

You really need to have someone proof that stuff for you. I might try to re-write it for you later this afternoon.

But yeah...

[a1maniac]

I was never strong in the punctuation department. I would definitely appreciate a re-write!!

[Topher]

before:

Have you been looking for an A.S.E master technician that Knows his stuff, Is honest, has integrity and doesn't charge an arm and a leg for it? Well Good news folks you have found him I have started my own shop Called D-Rock Autowerks.

here are a few things that set me apart from the rest:

1. I have an absolute passion for working on cars and have since I was 17. If
im not wrenching I am not happy!!

2. You will always be told what needs to be replaced and the cost of the
repairs Before anything gets done. and if something unexpected pops up you
will be contacted right away.

3. Estimates are FREE.

4. Parts and labor are %100 Guaranteed (If your not happy I'm not happy)

5. I do not mark up my parts. what I pay is what you pay and I get many parts
at a discount price.

6. My LABOR RATE is only $35 per hour which is half the cost of bigger shops. I have All-data which gives
me precise labor times.

My name is Derek and I look forward to serving you!!

Contact me anytime to set up an appointment or to get an estimate over the phone!!
612-636-3530

after:

Honesty and integrity are words that are rarely used to describe automotive mechanics. My goal, at D-Rock Autowerks, is to flip that generalization. As a trained A.S.E. Master Technician, I not only bring ability and skill to the table, but I also pledge to provide an affordable, honest and reliable service.

Below are just a few of the things that differentiate me from other mechanics:

-True passion; I’ve been a lifetime “car guy,” this is not only a vocation, but an avocation
-Estimates for all parts and labor are free
-If additional work is required after the estimate, you will be contacted immediately and have the situation explained
-100% guarantee on parts and labor
-Parts at cost; I do not mark up costs on parts, any savings I receive will be passed along to you
-$35/hr flat labor rate
-Backed by All Data; this service is used to properly estimate all jobs


I provide service and repairs on domestics (Chevrolet, Pontiac, GM, Ford, Buick, etc) and Imports (VW, Toyota, BMW, Mercedes, Land Rover, Honda, Acura, etc).

Please contact me, Derek, to set up an appointment or for diagnosis/estimating.

612.636.3530

[a1maniac]

that is fantastic!!!

[Topher]

Good luck.

[Die Frau]

Nice work Chris. Made him not sound like, well, just another grease monkey.

[a1maniac]

Nice work Chris. Made him not sound like, well, just another grease monkey.

you are absolutely correct sir!

[Dex4]

I like how the second one turned out, but this statement "My goal, at D-Rock Autowerks, is to flip that generalization." D-Rock seems like a bad nickname you got in highschool, this is just my opinion. Since it is just you in the company, you could keep it a little more personable and leave it out like "My goal is to flip that generalization." and just leave your company info at the bottom.

And I would add a signature with logo at the bottom of the screen kinda like this, makes it look a little more professional.


Also I would list some cars you have worked on and work that was done. It would also be helpful to have references available from some of your previous customers.

Good Luck

[Topher]

I echo the above.

Have references available upon request. It lends credibility.

[a1maniac]

I already have had 4 calls on this ad!!

[shanetrain]

Ad . Looks good but like prev said lose the d rock. Just be careful of shady characters and forms of payment. Craigslist has a wide variety of users

[shanetrain]

Oh and if you have any setup/shop to take a picture of. That's a good thing to have in there too. Although I just remembered, the labor section doesn't have an upload function I think. But you still might be able to embed with html tags. Me no sure.

[a1maniac]

Ad . Looks good but like prev said lose the d rock. Just be careful of shady characters and forms of payment. Craigslist has a wide variety of users

I have been spelling ad for so long..... As far as my shop name is concerned . All the names I had in mind are already taken. anybody have any ideas? heres my revised ad. http://minneapolis.craigslist.org/aos/1030044267.html

[a1maniac]

How does MasterTech Autowerks sound? there is a mastertech autoworks. but i am nowhere near them.